Untouchable
by sevenohfive
Summary: His memory of her is sweet and beautiful so that even without saying it, it is obvious that he was, and possibly is still, in love with her. nickXmiley ONESHOT


**Untouchable**

_His memory of her is sweet and beautiful so that even without saying it, it is obvious that he was, and possibly is still, in love with her._

*-*-*-*-*

Ever just sit and look out the window and wonder what could be? Wonder what you're missing out on, and wonder how you would be as someone else. Seeing people going in all different directions with all different emotions. You don't know where they're going, where they're coming from, or how they're feeling. We don't know how their life is affecting ours, but yet we spend time looking at them and wondering. I wonder if people ever see me like that. I wonder if they can see all the hurt I have bottled up inside of me. I wonder if they can see me breaking.

I know very well that they can't. All they see me as is the "rich dude who used to be part of that Jonas band." They never liked me then, but suddenly they're all my best friends. It's not me who they care about, if they didn't care then, why would they care now? Oh right, because I throw the biggest and best Hollywood parties. A majority of the people who come to these parties aren't even famous; they want to be, so they come here to get connections with the producers of movies and big time artists. I don't recall meeting these strange faces ever in my life. The ones I recognize are the ones who helped me get where I am; people who work at record deals, the president of Hollywood Records, former band members, Demi, Joe, Kevin, Danielle, Selena, other close friends, people I toured with, people who interviewed me…

I see all of them, some of them I obviously know and still talk to, some of them I remember but don't talk to. There's one face though, the one face who is still very clear in my mind, almost as clear as the memory of her angelic voice saying my name and the feel of her velvet touch. That face doesn't come around here. The last time I saw her was five years ago, March 27. Five years ago, when were 17.

It was right after the 2010 Kid's Choice Awards; she told me that her family decided to move to Paris, away from the Hollywood glamour because she needed space from it all, room to breathe. She left as soon as she was done promoting her last album. We decided never to speak to each other after that…for closure.

Now it wasn't until 2 years ago when I started throwing these parties. I heard she was back in town. It was all over the news actually, "The Big Return of Miley Cyrus." Everyone thought she was going to make a comeback, but she never did. I thought that if I threw big parties with important Hollywood people and former teenage stars, like herself, that maybe she'd stop by. She never showed.

I turned around as I heard my bedroom door open and saw Kevin and Danielle stand in the doorway.

"Hey Nick, Dani and I are gonna get going, we got Frankie home with his girlfriend babysitting." Kevin said and I nodded and waved as he and Danielle waved goodbye and disappeared into the hallway.

I looked out my window and sighed as I saw the same faces from last weekend and a few new ones on the patio, in the pool, dancing, sitting, talking… the usual.

This was ridiculous…where could she be?

I took one last look out the window and left my room, not bothering to close my door.

It was getting late and I noticed people were starting to clear out. The latest anyone stayed was around 4 am…I wouldn't let that happen tonight though. I'm emotionally exhausted. As I walked through my house I didn't fail to continue my subconscious search for her.

I sat down at the bar in my kitchen and tapped my fingers on the counter top impatiently. I felt someone sit next to me and turned to see Joe and Demi.

"She here?" He asked.

"Who?" I played dumb, though I knew who he was talking about because he figured it out last year and asked me the same thing every night I had a party.

"Nick… come on... when was the last time you enjoyed yourself at a party?" Demi asked and I shrugged.

"Last weekend." I lied.

"Bull. Come on, let's go have some fun." Joe said as they got up and dragged me outside and to the serve-yourself bar.

"No. Guys… I don't wanna get wasted."

"Just one drink." They said at the same time and I looked from them to the intoxicating beverages and back to them and shrugged.

"One drink."

*-*-*-*-*

The room is spinning and there are three Joes and Demis standing in front of me. Everyone else left a while ago, I have no idea what time it is and I really don't care. All I care about is Miley.

Miley. Miley. Miley.

"Miley…where is…she?"

"Missing out, that's where." I heard Joe say and shook my head.

"Yeah… you're right…she's not…worth anything. Who needs her…anyways…not me! Nooooope. Not. Me." I slammed my glass down on the table.

"Joe, we need to get him up to his room. It's 6 am." Demi said and looked at me, with what seemed to be a worried look.

"He's finally coming to his senses and moving on."

"He's gonna pass out any second, Joe! He won't even remember half of what he's saying with the hangover he's gonna have." Demi explained and I glared at her, processing part of what she said.

"Come on Nick." I heard her say and she lifted one of my arms around her and Joe took my other side.

"Where are we…going?"

"_You_ are going to bed. But…you gotta help us out here because I don't usually lift 22 year old guys up to their room when they're wasted." Demi said and I tried my best to lift some weight off of her but everything was spinning and I couldn't walk straight.

"Well I hope not, you being my fiancée and all." Joe joked. Demi sighed and I looked at her and she smiled sympathetically at me.

"Sorry." She said.

"No…I…I'm sorry."

They dragged me up the stairs, with not much help from myself, considering I couldn't really help myself. The brought me into my room and sat me down on my bed. Demi's hair brushed in my face and I got a whiff of her. I smiled at the scent because it reminded me of someone else.

"You…you smell like…her." I sighed and closed my eyes. Joe got up and so did Demi and they laid me back on my bed as the pillows comforted my head.

"I love her…I need…Mi…Miley..." I groaned as a sudden pounding took over my head. I covered my eyes and pressed my palms into them.

"Why doesn't….she want…me?"

"Shh…Nick, go to sleep." Demi's voice rang out.

"Don't think about her." I heard Joe say.

"My head hurts…"

"Do you know the last time he was this wasted?" Demi whispered to Joe.

"I think it was five years ago…when Miley told him she was leaving."

"You and Kevin let him drink? He was 17!" Demi gasped.

"He needed it…trust me."

"You guys…can take the guest…room, if you want…"

"Thanks, we'll be right down the hall." Joe said and I nodded.

"Wait! Demi… can you let me…ask you something?"

I felt her sit at the edge of my bed. "Have you…talked to her?"

"No…Nick, I'm sorry." I felt the weight of her on my bed leave and heard her walk to the door.

"Demi, my head hurts."

"I know."

"Demi…my heart hurts."

I heard the door close and everything went black.

*-*-*-*-*

I woke up to a throbbing pain pushing at my skull. It felt like I had at least fifty archaeologists inside my head, chipping away at the bone. Thank god it was pitch black in my room because I'm sure the light would have made it worse. I rolled over and instantly regretted it as my whole body ached. I heard my door open and covered my face with a pillow as I heard quiet footsteps head over to the window and the curtains open up. Then that person came over and took the pillow off my face. I groaned at the sudden brightness in the room.

"Good, you're up." I heard Demi say and throw my pillow on the other side of my bed.

"Dem…" I groaned again as she whipped the blankets off my body.

"Come on Nick. Drink this and take this." She said and handed me a glass of water and an Advil as I sat up. She waited for me to swallow the pill then took the glass of water and put it on my bedside table.

"Why are you doing this?" I asked.

"Because you're hung-over and I take some responsibility." She said simply and I nodded, slightly remembering the night before.

"Are you gonna throw up?" She asked and I shook my head, not feeling nauseous or sick.

"Good…." She said and smiled softly at me.

"Come on, Joe made you some food, you gotta eat something. It's not good to take Advil on an empty stomach." She said, got up and walked out of the room. I slowly followed.

I sat down at the counter and yawned.

"You look awful, man!" Joe exclaimed and I winced at the loudness.

"Damn, Joe. Don't yell!"

"Sorry…" He whispered and put a plate with a grilled cheese on it in front of me. Suddenly I didn't feel too good. The smell of food was just sickening and made my stomach turn. I pushed it away and swallowed down what was about to come up.

"Not hungry…" I said. Joe shrugged and Demi shook her head.

"Eat these." She said and handed me some Ritz crackers. Eh. I could deal with these.

"How late was I up?" I asked, afraid of the answer.

"6 am." Joe stated and I groaned. What the hell was I doing?

"You were wasted." He said and I nodded slowly.

"I know… it caught up with me…how bad was I?"

"You don't remember anything?" Demi asked and sat next to me.

"Well I remember some stuff…I just don't know if what I remember is everything that happened."

"Well…you just talked… a lot…about shit that you didn't know what you were saying. Most of what you said revolved around…" Joe said and his voice faded, though I knew what he was going to say.

I sighed. "What'd I say this time? Was it as bad as the last time?"

"No… last time you were a disaster, you were pretty calm last night." Joe said and I nodded.

"What time is it?" I asked and took a bite of a non-appetizing cracker that was in front of me.

"3:30."

"Damn…" I said and continued to snack on the crackers Demi gave me.

"Should we tell him?" I heard Joe whisper to Demi.

"No… he's not ready." Demi whispered back.

"Who cares! He has to know sooner or later." Joe said.

"I'm hung over not deaf." I interrupted as Demi was about to answer Joe. "What is it? Just tell me."

"Okay uhm…you had a visitor earlier." Joe said and shared a look with Demi. My stomach flipped at the first person who came to mind.

"Yeah, uhm…Miley… actually came by. She said she heard about your party last night but couldn't make it… and she wanted to see you in person." Demi slowly said and my eyes went wide and my heart beat sped at the thought of her being here. She was right here, she was so close… and I was passed out!

"What?! She was here? She was in my house? And you didn't wake me?!" I exclaimed and got up quickly.

"Joe tried, but you were out cold!" Demi answered and bit her bottom lip. "I'm sorry… but we told her that you would meet her at 6 for dinner at Katsuya."

"Oh…okay…uhm…great…" I nodded and took a few deep breaths.

"Wha…what did you guys say to her? I-I-I mean when she asked where I was…wha-what did you say?" I managed to get out, my thoughts were so jumbled. I had so much on my mind but I didn't know what to say first.

"We just told her you were out on a run and wouldn't be back until later." Demi said and I nodded, relieved.

"So uhm how is she? How does she look?" I asked anxiously and Joe and Demi shared a look then looked at me.

"What? What is it? You know what, never mind. I'll find out for myself, I have to go shower and get ready." I said and went to my room.

*-*-*-*-*

I sat in my car as all different thoughts ran through my head. Why did she want to see me? Did she want to "reconnect" once again? Was there bad news she wanted to give me? Good news? There was only one way to find out.

I turned my car off and took the keys out of the ignition and got out. And as always, after about 2 seconds of being outside, the paparazzi were all over me. I try not to think about them a lot. I don't really know what they want from me anymore. I'm just a solo artist and songwriter, I haven't done anything big. I will never understand the reason for taking pictures and videos of celebrities. There's nothing special about us. We are normal people living not-so-normal lives because of them. They make us like this; they make us live this "glamorous" life with glittering things. We do nothing special.

I made it into the restaurant ignoring the shouting of questions about why I'm here and who I'm meeting and was I on a date with anyone. I stood in the entrance and took a deep breath as I searched for her. It was 6:15, so I figured she would already be here, considering my being late. I walked in a little more and scanned the floor.

There she was. Sitting there in all of her glory. Still beautiful. Still the girl I fell in love with 10 years ago but somehow different. But she was here. Finally.

I walked over to the table she was at and smiled as soon as our eyes met. I don't know how she did it but she made me fall in love with her all over again. She smiled angelically at me and her eyes sparkled like glitter. I took a deep breath as chills ran through my spine. It's been too long since I last saw those glittering blue eyes. I got closer to the table and she stood up and looked at me, still smiling. I couldn't help but smile back with all the happiness running through me.

"Nick Jonas…" She said angelically, her smile grew, as did mine at the sound of her voice saying my name.

"Miley…" That was the only thing I could seem to say as I took her in. Her hair was chocolate brown with highlights and it hung over her shoulders in loose curls. She had on a very casual outfit, just a nice halter top with jeans to match. Overall…she still looked good.

She stepped forward and the next thing I knew we were in each other's arms. Her touch gave me chills and I just didn't want to let go again. I didn't know what would happen if I did. But I couldn't stand here like a love struck teenager forever. I reluctantly let go after a few seconds and we sat down.

"I already ordered…I hope that's okay. I'm pretty sure I remembered your favorite…" She smiled and I looked down in front of me to see that she did.

"You remembered right." I told her.

"How could I forget?"

I looked at her as I chewed my food and couldn't help but try and keep a smile off my face as she took a sip of her drink and smiled questioningly.

"What…" She giggled.

I shook my head slightly. "Nothing…it's just…" I shrugged. "It's really great to see you."

She nodded, "It's great to see you too. But uhm…where were you really earlier today?"

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"I know when Demi and Joe are lying…and they were definitely lying. So where were you…you can tell me." She urged on and smiled playfully.

I sighed, I couldn't lie. "Aha…well I was passed out. Worst hangover ever, actually."

She gasped and a smile snuck onto her face. "Not uh! Nick, I thought I'd never see the day. Wow…Nick…I…aha! I'm so speechless!"

I shrugged with a smug look on my face. She shook her head smiling.

"Nick Jonas hung over…so random." She said to herself. But it wasn't random.

"So what brought this on?" I asked curious. I mean, as happy as I was to see her… _this_ was completely random.

"I uhm…I wanted to talk to you." She said and slightly smiled.

"Okay…what about?" I asked.

"Well as you know I went to France with most of my family, you know …and Liam." She said slowly and I nodded. Yeah, I knew all of this already…

"He asked me to marry him, Nick, and I said yes. I-I'm getting married."

I leaned in a little towards her, thinking I didn't hear correctly. I did. I know I did. It was crystal clear. Those words were crystal clear.

She lifted up her hand and showed me her ring finger. There it was. That god damn rock rested on her finger looking as untouchable as her.

My heart dropped into my stomach and I let out a breath I had no idea I was holding. My face was still and I wanted to find the right words to say but…what was I supposed to say?

"Nick…" She said softly.

"Wow." Was all I could say because that's all I was thinking. She looked at me expecting more…but I didn't know what more to say.

"I mean…uhm, Miles, aren't you a little young? What's the rush?"

"I'm in love. Don't people get married when they're in love? Besides, Kevin got married at 22... Demi is engaged to Joe..." She said and chuckled. I couldn't believe this. I couldn't fathom why on earth she would want to get married at 22…and to him! Sure, Kevin got married when he was 22, but… that was different, Danielle is his first and only love. And Joe and Demi... well they've known each other for so long. But Miley…she… she's so not like that.

"We were in love." I whispered, though it came out as more of a casual statement rather than a well-known fact.

"Were… Nick… I love you. You know I do but…"

"Then why are you marrying him?" I asked harshly and shook my head when I saw the look on her face, she looked so happy, and here I was ruining it for her.

"No, never mind. I'm sorry. I should be happy for you, I am happy for you. I'm glad that you're happy. I can see you are."

"I haven't been this happy in forever." She said and the smile on her lips grew. I could only wish that I was the one who made her smile like that.

"I just have a question." I told her and looked deep into her eyes, trying to find any sign of regret or worry or sadness. Nothing.

"Why are you telling me this?" I asked softly, I was afraid if I spoke any louder that I'd be yelling.

She shrugged and smiled genuinely, "I thought you should be the first to know. You were my first love, Nick." That made no sense so I gave her a questioning look.

"I don't want you to pine for me anymore. I want to be one-hundred percent happy on my wedding day and every day that follows… but I can't do that if you're not happy." She said and bit her bottom lip, making me tremble.

I cringed and my eyes squeezed shut as I let out a short sigh, my attempt at a chuckle to hold back every emotion in my system. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. She wanted me to be happy. But doesn't she know that I can't be happy without her?

I looked at her and nodded. "I'm happy… if you're happy." I choked out and smiled a half ass of a smile, but I tried… for her.

If she saw past my lie, she didn't show it because she smiled back and took my hand in hers across the table. "Thank you." She said and I nodded. I couldn't speak because if I let one sound out it would be a scream of pain. So I clenched my teeth and locked my jaw pretending it was all okay.

We soon left and I made it to my car and drove home in what I hoped would be complete silence, only the voice in my head wouldn't shut up. The visions in my head of _us_ were being clouded over with visions in my head of _them_. They were polluting my mind and I couldn't stop thinking about how he must have proposed and how she answered and how they spent that first night as an engaged couple... Then visions of the future passed through my mind. I pictured their wedding, only previous times I've pictured her getting married it was to me, and now he stood in my place.

I pulled into my driveway and sat in my car when I saw that Demi and Joe were still here, probably waiting for me, to see how it went. But now it made sense, the look they shared earlier, they knew. Miley said I was the first she told, but Joe and Demi have eyes, they saw that damn ring.

The visions continued and they _wouldn't_ stop. It was all pushed into my brain and making my mind claustrophobic. In sort of a panic I pushed the palms of my hands into my eyes and tried to bring up a picture of the first day we met and our first kiss and the day we told one another we loved each other. And the water's lapping on Tybee Island and the way she looked in the moon light. I tried to recall the sweet smell of her hair and the way her lips felt against my own and how the friction between our touch was just right. But these things didn't exist in the world! They had existed and they existed no longer.

When she left she took everything with her. And now there's just nothing.

I loved her, and I would love her until the day I was too old for loving… but I couldn't have her. So I tasted the deep pain that is reserved only for the strong, just as I had tasted for a little while, the deep happiness when I first saw the her. When she wasn't untouchable.


End file.
